October 7, 1977: The film Oh, God! premieres. George Burns plays God. He was almost old enough.
He was born on January 20, 1896, in Manhattan, as Nathan Birnbaum. When he went into show business, he named himself after two different, but unrelated, star baseball players of his youth: George Burns.
In 1922, already known in vaudeville, he met comedian Gracie Allen, born on July 26, 1895 (yes, she was older) in San Francisco, as Gracie Ethel Cecile Rosalie Allen. They married in 1926, and developed a stage act where Burns played the "straight man," and Allen played a silly, addle-headed woman whose convoluted logic Burns was often ill-equipped to challenge. Burns once told an interviewer, "I would say, 'So, Gracie, how's your brother?' and let her talk for 15 minutes while I smoked a cigar." The act always ended the same way: George would say, "Say goodnight, Gracie," and Gracie would say, "Goodnight, Gracie."
The Burns and Allen Show debuted on radio in 1936; the series ran, moving back and forth between NBC and CBS, until 1950. After their radio show's cancellation, Burns and Allen reemerged on television with a CBS situation comedy, The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show, which ran from 1950 to 1958.
Officially, the show, still popular, ended because Gracie was tired of learning lines. The truth was worse: She had a bad heart, and she died on August 27, 1964, at the age of 69. George later told an interviewer, "I go to her grave, and I tell her my jokes. She doesn't laugh. She's heard them all before."
George continued as a comic actor, and did standup on variety shows like The Ed Sullivan Show and The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The death of his close friend and fellow comedian Jack Benny in 1974 devastated him. But in 1976, playwright Neil Simon cast George in the film version of his play The Sunshine Boys. At 80, George Burns became the oldest male actor to yet win an Academy Award for Best Picture. He told the media, "It just goes to show that if you stick around long enough, you become knew again."
(In 2021, Anthony Hopkins won at age 83 for his role in The Father. The oldest actress is Jessica Tandy, who won in 1990, at 80. for Driving Miss Daisy. The youngest? In 2002, Adrien Brody won at 29 for The Pianist; and in 1987, Marlee Matlin won at 21 for Children of a Lesser God. Tatum O'Neal won at 10 in 1974, for Paper Moon, but she won for Best Supporting Actress, even though she was the female lead. In 1981, Timothy Hutton was 20 when he won Best Supporting Actor for Ordinary People.)
Before Betty White, George Burns was America's favorite elderly celebrity -- or, at least, America's favorite person famous for being old. George, how many of those cigars do you smoke a day? "About 20 a day." And how much do you drink? "I drink 6 martinis a day." And you date young women? "Yes." Why don't you date women your own age? "There aren't any." But couldn't fooling around with a woman that young prove fatal? "If she dies, she dies." What does your doctor say about all of this? "He's dead."
He also liked to say, "I never tell a joke older than I am. There aren't any." In 1977, just before the release of Oh, God!, Burns was the guest host on The Muppet Show. Gonzo the Great held a violin, and said, "It's my new act: Gonzo fiddles while George Burns!" It was a play on the old line -- not possible, because the violin didn't exist in ancient times -- "Nero fiddles while Rome burns." George heard Gonzo, and said, "Finally! A joke that's older than I am!"
In 1971, Avery Corman write a novel titled, Oh, God! Larry Gelbart wrote a screenplay based on it, to be directed by Carl Reiner. Both men had written for Sid Caesar's Your Show of Shows in the 1950s, as had Mel Brooks. They cast Burns as God. "I originally offered the part to Mel," Gelbart said, "but he didn't want the demotion."
The story centers on supermarket manager Jerry Landers, who is chosen by God to spread His message, despite the skepticism of the media, religious authorities, and his own wife. Instead of wearing a long white beard and a long white robe, as God is often depicted, Burns dressed like a Florida retiree, complete with a sailor cap and loafers. When Jerry asks Him to prove he's God, by doing a miracle, God says, "The last miracle I did was the 1969 Mets."
Singer John Denver was cast as Jerry. Burns said, "Denver brought in his fans, and they got me to bring in the young kids." Teri Garr played Jerry's wife.
The movie was a hit. Burns said, "They're doing a sequel. I'm playing God again. Why not? At my age, anything I do is a miracle." Oh, God! Book II came out in 1980, and Oh, God! You Devil in 1984. Both times, Burns was the only returning actor, and there was no connection between the stories.
In the 3rd film, set mostly in Las Vegas, Burns spent much more on-screen time as the Devil, using the name Harry O. Tophet -- the initials spelling "HOT," as seen on his license plate, and "Tophet" was a place where pre-Judaism Canaanites would sacrifice their children to the god Moloch. As with his version of God, he didn't use a traditional appearance: No horns, no tail, no mustache, no beard, not even exaggerated eyebrows. But he did wear a red sportsjacket, compared to the blue windbreaker he wore as God.
Spoiler Alert: In the true spirit of Las Vegas, when the old enemies finally face each other, God wins the hero's soul back by bluffing through a poker hand. The Devil says, "Why did I fold?" And God says, "I put the fear of Me into you."
How many actors have played both God and the Devil? In live-action, only George Burns, and he played both at the same time. When he was 87 years old.
(Max von Sydow played Jesus in The Greatest Story Ever Told in 1965, and the Devil, using the name Leeland Gaunt in Needful Things in 1993. Willem Dafoe played Jesus in The Last Temptation of Christ in 1988, and the Devil in a 2013 Mercedes-Benz commercial.)
George Burns had a running gag: "I can't die. I'm booked." He wasn't kidding: He had the London Palladium rented out for his 100th birthday, January 20, 1996. But at the age of 98, he fell getting out of the bathtub, and broke his hip. That has been the beginning of the end for many old people, and it looked like he was going to will himself to live to be 100, just for the sake of reaching the milestone. He did, but it was Jerry Seinfeld who took the London Palladium gig. George Burns died on March 9, 1996, just 49 days after turning 100.
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They will be disappointed. But perhaps not as badly as the Philadelphia Phillies. But in the top of the 9th, trailing 5-3 and down to their last out, the Los Angeles Dodgers benefit from a sickening turn of events, which leads to a 6-5 Dodger win, and they take the Pennant the next day. Philadelphia fans call it "Black Friday." I have a separate entry for this event.
Football was in midweek. And the 1977-78 NBA, NHL and World Hockey Association seasons hadn't started yet.
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