October 22, 1962: "The First Family" Is Recorded Amid the Cuban Missile Crisis

October 22, 1962: Eight days after finding out that the Soviet Union has set up missiles in Cuba, which could reach the United States, and debating what to do about it, President John F. Kennedy addresses the nation from the Oval Office at the White House.

Obviously, JFK couldn't simply do nothing, and let the missiles stay there. It would have been nuclear extortion on America and its allies. He also knew that standard diplomacy, trying to get the Soviets to remove the missiles that way, or to convince Castro to refuse them, wouldn't work.

Most of the President's military advisors had recommended a first strike on Cuba -- not nuclear, but with conventional weapons, meaning planes and bombs. This would be followed by a land invasion.

JFK knew that this would be considered an act of war, not just on Cuba, but on Cuba's ally, the Soviet Union, and might lead to that country launching its missiles on the West, including any missiles that the hypothetical bombing raid failed to take out. If ever there was a President who, as Donald Trump once suggested he did, "knew more than the Generals do," it was Kennedy.

Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara suggested a naval blockade, preventing any more Soviet supplies from arriving in Cuba by sea -- including aircraft carriers whose planes could enforce the blockade by air.

But this, too, was problematic: According to international law, a blockade is an act of war. Admiral George Anderson, Chief of Naval Operations, told JFK to, instead, call it a "quarantine." JFK's Attorney General, his brother, Robert F. Kennedy, told him that this would provide legal justification, under the Rio Treaty, effectively establishing the Organization of American States (OAS) as a NATO for the Western Hemisphere, and also backing up the Monroe Doctrine, prohibiting European interference in the Hemisphere. And so, JFK announced the "quarantine."

For the next week, the world was terrified that this is it: World War III is coming, and, as JFK had said before, "The living would envy the dead."

And while this speech was being broadcast, among the few people not seeing it were in Fine Recording Studio in Manhattan, watching the recording of the comedy album The First Family, a parody of the Kennedy family. Presidents had been portrayed before, and comedians had made jokes about incumbent Presidents. But comedian Vaughn Meader, a fellow New Englander (from Waterville, Maine) had already made a name for himself impersonating JFK, including the accent, the phrasing and the gestures.

Unlike some later Presidential parodies, this was mostly in good fun, riffing on various facets of Kennedy life: JFK's comparative youth and inexperience, his reliance on his brother Bobby's counsel and their father Joe's money, his bad back and the rocking chair he used instead of a stiffer chair, his affinity for cigars, Jackie's redecoration of the White House, the raising of daughter Caroline and baby John Jr., and the family's love of sports, including football and water-skiing.

Naomi Brossart played Jackie. She was a model, and this album was her recording debut. Canadian actress Norma McMillan, an experienced cartoon voice actress, and older than either Meader or Brossart, ironically provided the voices of both Caroline and "John-John."

Also among the cast were Earle Doud and Bob Booker, who co-produced the album; and Chuck McCann, a comedian known for his commercials ("Hi, guy!" for Right Guard antiperspirant, and he was the voice of Sonny the Cuckoo Bird who went "cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs" cereal). McCann also starred in a kids' science-fiction comedy, Far Out Space Nuts, with a post-Gilligan's Island John Denver. That show, too, was produced by Earle Doud, for the Krofft Superstars, as was another McCann vehicle, Magic Mongo. Also for Sid & Marty Krofft, Doud created and produced Wonderbug.

Meader later said, "A lot of people don't know this, but we recorded The First Family on the night of October 22, 1962, the same night as John F. Kennedy's Cuban Missile Crisis Speech. The audience was in the studio and had no idea of the drama that was taking place. But the cast had heard the speech and our throats almost dropped to our toes, because if the audience had heard the Cuban Missile Speech, we would not have received the reaction we did."

"Mr. President, we recently learned that you sent an agent into Cuba.

Did he return with any useful information?"

"Well, I didn't send him for information. I sent him for cigars!"

Cadence Records almost cancelled the distribution of the record, assuming America would be going to war. But the crisis was resolved on October 28, so the album was released a few days later. It rode JFK's post-crisis popularity to became the fastest-selling record in American history, until The Beatles came along a year later, and in 1963 it won the Grammy Award for Album of the Year. Since the music business is a copycat's business, Jewish comedians Buck Henry, Joan Rivers and George Segal recorded The Other Family, imagining the Khrushchevs at home.

On November 22, 1963, JFK was assassinated. The night before, Meader had done a show in character in Milwaukee. Right after the news of the assassination hit the media, he hailed a taxi to take him to the airport. The driver recognized him, and said, "Did you hear about Kennedy in Dallas?" Since Meader hadn't heard, he presumed this was the setup for a joke, and said, "No, how does it go?" The driver told him, and turned on the radio so Meader could hear.

That night, a far more controversial comedian, Lenny Bruce, was due to go onstage at a nightclub in New York's Greenwich Village. He wondered if it were possible to be funny that night. He wondered if anybody would even show up. He decided to go out, and there were 12 people in the audience. He sat on a stool for a moment, and then, his usual bad taste kicked in, and he said, "Boy, is Vaughn Meader fucked!" And the 12 people laughed like crazy. Bruce walked offstage, knowing it wouldn't get any better than that, and collected his pay from a satisfied club owner.

Sadly, Bruce was right: Nobody wanted to hear from Meader anymore. He couldn't do JFK material anymore, but anything else he tried reminded people of the sadness of those 4 days in November. He went back to Maine, and ran a bar.

Earle Doud, who produced the original album, tried again, with Welcome to the LBJ Ranch and Lyndon Johnson's Lonely Hearts Club Band. But instead of impressionists, they did it as a "cut-in" album, in the style of Dickie Goodman's "Flying Saucer" records: They would ask a question, and then use a recording of LBJ, a figure in his Administration, or another politician, the result intending to be funny. It didn't work.

David Frye was an amazing impressionist, who managed to not only sound like, but use his facial expressions to even look like, not just LBJ, but also Robert Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Nelson Rockefeller, and even William F. Buckley. Sometimes, he would play talk show host David Susskind, interviewing each of them. He recorded the albums I Am the President and Radio Free Nixon.

Of course, once Nixon's own recordings were released, the paradigm was changed: Since the world had heard just how mean a President of the United States could be, it was okay to really skewer him in comedy routines.

Meader had a brief revival in 1981, with The First Family Rides Again! But Doud made him just a supporting player on that album: Rich Little provided the voice of Ronald Reagan. Meader died in 2004, at the age of 68. Norma MacMillan died in 2001, Chuck McCann in 2018. As of October 22, 2022, Earle Doud, Bob Booker and Naomi Brossart are still alive.

*

October 22, 1962 was a Monday. Actor Bob Odenkirk was born.

The baseball season ended 6 days earlier, with the New York Yankees winning Game 7 of the World Series over the San Francisco Giants. Football was in midweek: There wouldn't be Monday Night Football until 1970. The NBA and NHL seasons were underway, but no games were scheduled for either. So there were no scores on this historic day.

March 12, 1983: Buckwheat Is Assassinated on "Saturday Night Live"

March 12, 1983: Buckwheat is assassinated on Saturday Night Live. This was a big deal at the time.

Eddie Murphy had been playing a grownup version of Buckwheat, the black kid with the speech impediment and the upswept hair in the Our Gang serials from 1938 to 1944, on the show. His use of "O-tay!" instead of "Okay!" briefly became a popular catchphrase.

The actor who played Buckwheat, William Thomas Jr., billed as "Billie Thomas," later served in the U.S. Army, was decorated for his service, and returned to the film industry as an editor. On July 31, 1980, he was one of several former Our Gang (rebranded as The Little Rascals for later broadcasts on television) members honored at a convention in Los Angeles. But just a few weeks later, on October 10, he died of a heart attack. He was only 49 years old.

It was only after Thomas' death that Murphy began playing the character. What Thomas would have thought can only be speculated. His son, also named William Thomas Jr., became the executor of his father's estate and image, and raised no objection. But former co-star George "Spanky" McFarland hated it. Murphy got tired of it, too, and decided to "kill the character off." SNL executive producer Dick Ebersol agreed.

Despite being at night, instead of in daylight, the scene was staged to resemble the attempted assassination of President Ronald Reagan by John Hinckley 2 years earlier: Murphy, in character as Buckwheat, walks out of 30 Rockefeller Plaza, which includes NBC headquarters and the studio where SNL is taped, and waves to a crowd, saying "I wub noo!" (Meaning, "I love you!")

Then, as Buckwheat approaches his limousine, just as Hinckley shouted out, "Mr. President!" a voice is heard yelling, "Hey, Mr. Wheat!" Buckwheat turns, with his hands still up, and says, "Yes?" And he is shot. A bodyguard shoves him into the limo, which speeds off toward a hospital, while several people jump on the shooter.

SNL shot two versions, one with "blood squibs" and one without. They decided to go with the one without the squibs, because the one with the squibs looked too real, and they didn't want to actually scare anyone.

Castmember Joe Piscopo, known for his impersonation of Frank Sinatra, played ABC News Nightline host Ted Koppel, reporting on the story, and playing it absolutely straight, as if this was a real story happening in real time. He showed the shooting over and over, including in slow motion, as had been done with Reagan's shooting. Finally, he made the tragic announcement: "We have just received word: Buckwheat is dead!" Again and again, in slow motion, the shooting was repeated, and the audience got the joke.

As the character was taken in for emergency surgery, Mary Gross came on to play Alfalfa, another of the Our Gang characters. "His" reaction was, "I'm alarmed, and confused, and I don't know what to say." Ironically, the actual actor who played Alfalfa, Carl Switzer, was murdered, at his home in Los Angeles, on January 21, 1959. He was only 31.

Later, during the show's regular Saturday Night News segment -- it had originally been, and would again, be Weekend Update -- anchor Brad Hall (now better known for being the husband of Julia Louis-Dreyfus, also then an SNL castmember -- did the show as if it was a complete story, and posted reactions from famous people, who were obviously talking about someone else:

* Actor Charlton Heston, by then also known for his gun advocacy: "Well, he was one of the best we had, maybe the best America had had in this century." (He may have been talking about actor Henry Fonda, who died 7 months earlier.)

* Former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger: "He was tough. He had a good sense of humor." (He may have been talking about Soviet dictator Leonid Brezhnev, who died 4 months earlier; or Egyptian President Anwar Sadat, assassinated in late 1981.)

* President Reagan: "Nancy and I feel that we have lost a close and dear friend." (He could also have been talking about Fonda, or Sadat. In spite of their respective positions, he never met Brezhnev.)

* Pope John Paul II (graphics on the screen suggesting a translation from the original Italian -- yes, I know he was Polish, but he was speaking to Italians): "The entire world mourns the loss of this great humanitarian. Buckwheat was a man of peace. We all know how he died. But, perhaps some of you haven't seen the videotape. Let's take a look." (That made the live audience at 30 Rockefeller Plaza crack up.)

And every minute or so, they squeezed in a "commercial": "Buckwheat shot. America stunned. Brought to you by Texxon. Life goes on, and Texxon is there." "Emergency surgery. The world waits. Brought to you by Texxon. Life goes on, and Texxon is there." "Buckwheat dead. America mourns. Brought to you by Texxon. Life goes on, and Texxon is there." Finally, they closed the sketch with, "Buckwheat dead. America mourns. Brought to you by Texxon. Life goes on, and Texxon is there. Because Buckwheat would have wanted it that way."

The following week, Buckwheat's funeral was shown, again with Piscopo as Koppel covering it. It parodied Brezhnev's funeral, with soldiers doing a slow goose-step. But it also showed American soldiers firing a cannon in salute, probably taken from Reagan's Inauguration in 1981.

Among the simulated guests were First Lady Nancy Reagan, but not the President; and Diana, Princess of Wales, but not her husband, Prince Charles, or his mother, Queen Elizabeth II. Also, in footage clearly taken from Sadat's funeral: Former Presidents Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter; plus Kissinger, and Prime Minister Menachem Begin of Israel.

They also showed footage of the candlelight vigil held in Central Park for former Beatle John Lennon after his assassination, in 1980, saying that this was for Buckwheat. (The entire Our Gang cast combined didn't have the impact that Lennon had.)

Piscopo/Koppel then announced that the police had identified the assassin. Like John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, and Lennon's killer Mark David Chapman, he was always identified with all three names: John David Stutts. Murphy did double duty as victim and assassin.

As police led Stutts into court for his arraignment, a reporter asked him why he did it. Parodying David Berkowitz, the 1976-77 serial killer known as the Son of Sam, "Well, I had to kill him, because my dog told me he was the Antichrist."

Koppel introduced a clinical psychologist, asking him why people kill famous people. The psychologist said it was to become famous themselves, "and, unfortunately, certain irresponsible people in the media are only too eager to turn these assassins into instant celebrities." Koppel then introduced a profile of Stutts.

Everybody interviewed on the subject, including his former pastor, said Stutts was "Quiet, kind of a loner," which is what people always tend to say about famous killers, whether their victims are famous or not. But Koppel asked them all, "Do you think he killed Buckwheat?" They all said, "Oh, yes!" showing they were not surprised about his apparent guilt. His high school yearbook showed him to be President of the Future Assassins of America, and his class voted him "Most Likely to Kill Buckwheat."

Then, they parodied the shooting of Oswald in 1963, just 2 days after the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. Stutts was even dressed like Oswald, wearing a sweater, and the shooter was wearing a hat like the one Jack Ruby wore while shooting Oswald. Stutts' killer was not identified on the air.

There was also a new "commercial": "Brought to you by Mutual Life: Because you could die tomorrow." The last time, the announcer added, "Just like John David Stutts."

In spite of the "death," and having tired of the character, Murphy has brought Buckwheat back a few times.

*

March 12, 1983 was a Saturday. Baseball was in Spring Training. Football was out of season. There were 6 games played in the NBA that day:

* The New York Knicks beat the Portland Trail Blazers, 97-95 at Madison Square Garden.

* The Philadelphia 76ers beat the Washington Bullets, 95-86 at the Capital Centre in the Washington suburb of Landover, Maryland.

* The Atlanta Hawks beat the Detroit Pistons, 120-119 at the Silverdome in the Detroit suburb of Pontiac, Michigan. Isiah Thomas scored 39 points, to no avail.

* The Phoenix Suns beat the Houston Rockets, 105-94 at The Summit (now the Lakewood Church Central Campus) in Houston.

* The San Antonio Spurs beat the Golden State Warriors, 131-120 at the HemisFair Arena in Dallas. Joe Barry Carroll scored 36 points in defeat. Clearly, this was one time when he did not live up to his unflattering nickname, "Joe Barely Cares."

* And the Los Angeles Lakers beat the Chicago Bulls, 123-116 at The Forum outside Los Angeles in Inglewood, California.

There were 9 games played in the NHL:

* The New York Rangers beat the Calgary Flames, 4-1 at the Saddledome in Calgary.

* The New York Islanders beat the Washington Capitals, 6-2 at the Nassau Coliseum.

* The New Jersey Devils beat the Montreal Canadiens, 7-3 at the Montreal Forum.

* The Quebec Nordiques beat the Minnesota North Stars, 6-3 at the Colisée de Québec in Quebec City.

* The Boston Bruins beat the Philadelphia Flyers, 5-2 at the Boston Garden.

* The Pittsburgh Penguins beat the Hartford Whalers, 7-2 at the Hartford Civic Center (now the PeoplesBank Arena).

* In an "Original Six" matchup, the Toronto Maple Leafs beat the Chicago Black Hawks, 4-2 at Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto.

* The St. Louis Blues beat the Detroit Red Wings, 2-1 at the St. Louis Arena, then known as the Checkerdome.

* The Vancouver Canucks beat the Buffalo Sabres, 8-3 at the Pacific Coliseum in Vancouver.

* And the Los Angeles Kings, the Winnipeg Jets and the Edmonton Oilers were not scheduled.

And in English soccer, Arsenal defeated Birmingham team Aston Villa, 2-0 in an FA Cup Quarterfinal at Highbury in North London.

February 28, 1984: "Weird Al" Yankovic Wants You to "Eat It"

February 28, 1984: "Weird Al" Yankovic releases his album "Weird Al" Yankovic in 3-D. It contains his best-known song, "Eat It."

Alfred Matthew Yankovic was born on October 23, 1959 in the Los Angeles suburb of Downey, California, and grows up in neighboring Lynwood. Known as "Weird Al" Yankovic (always billed with the nickname in quotation marks) rose to fame copying Michael Jackson, turning Jacko's songs "Beat It" into "Eat It" (which actually hit Number 12 in the Billboard Hot 100, an extraordinary feat for a parody) and "Bad" into "Fat."

Early on, he seemed to specialize in food, turning The Knack's "My Sharona" into "My Bologna," Joan Jett's "I Love Rock and Roll" into "I Love Rocky Road," and Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger," from the film Rocky III, into "The Rye or the Kaiser." Years later, he became a vegan, and people asked him how he can be a vegan and still sing songs about meat. He said, "The same way I can rationalize playing at a college even though I'm not a student anymore." In a 2011 interview, he said he was still a vegetarian, but not a strict vegan, because he likes cheese on pizza.

Since this was the founding era of MTV, he also had to copy the videos, matching the joke along the way, and he turned out to be every bit as good at it as the original performers. A personal favorite of mine is his copy of James Brown's "Living In America" from Rocky IV as "Living With a Hernia."

He could have remained a briefly popular novelty act, like Jewish comedians and parodists Mickey Katz (father of Joel Grey and grandfather of Jennifer Grey) in the mid-1950s, and Allan Sherman in the early 1960s; or a niche performer, like political comedian and parodist Mark Russell, who, given his age (born in 1932, and still alive, but retired in 2016), specialized in Tin Pan Alley and show tunes.

But a funny thing happened on the way to becoming irrelevant: He didn't. He kept copying the trends of the time, and since he was an admitted joke -- unlike, say, Milli Vanilli or Vanilla Ice -- people accepted it.

He got more famous than ever in 1996, when he turned Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise" into "Amish Paradise," which had fun with the image of the Amish while still managing to show respect for them. He even had an actual Top 10 hit in 2006, when he turned Chamillionaire's "Ridin' Dirty" into "White and Nerdy."

With his 2014 album Mandatory Fun, he turned Robin Thicke's twisting of Marvin Gaye's "Got to Give It Up," "Blurred Lines," into "Word Crimes," and it may be his best work: You don't even have to know Thicke's version to like it. (Lucky you.)

That same year, he played Isaac Newton against Nice Peter's Bill Nye on an episode of Epic Rap Battles of History, proving that a 54-year-old Polish guy from the L.A. suburbs could flow with the best of them.

In 2022, he produced the film Weird: The Al Yankovic Story. He was played by Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe. But it was a parody of rock star biographies. It suggested that Michael Jackson did "Beat It," stealing "Eat It" from him. It suggested an affair with Madonna, played by Evan Rachel Wood. It suggested that his father initially opposed his music career, based on his own experience, having left the Amish to be a musician, leading to "Amish Paradise." Finally, it showed Madonna having him assassinated, then standing over his grave, before a zombie Al pulls her in with him. As with everything else, Al let everyone know that the movie was a joke.

*

February 28, 1984 was a Tuesday. Baseball and football were out of season. There were 9 games played in the NBA:

* The Detroit Pistons beat the Atlanta Hawks, 101-96 at The Omni in Atlanta.

* The Washington Bullets beat the Indiana Pacers, 100-92 at the Market Square Arena in Indianapolis.

* The Los Angeles Lakers beat the Chicago Bulls, 124-108 at the Chicago Stadium.

* The Kansas City Kings beat the Cleveland Cavaliers, 142-137 in double overtime at the Kemper Arena (now the Hy-Vee Arena) in Kansas City. World B. Free scored 35 points.

* The Houston Rockets beat the Seattle SuperSonics, 111-105 at The Summit in Houston. (The arena is now the Central Campus of the Lakewood Church, Joel Osteen's "megachurch." Lewis Lloyd of the Rockets scored 36 points.

* The Dallas Mavericks beat the San Antonio Spurs, 116-104 at the HemisFair Arena in San Antonio. Mike Mitchell scored 44 for the Spurs.

* The Phoenix Suns beat the Utah Jazz, 113-100 at the Arizona Veterans Memorial Coliseum.

* The Golden State Warriors beat the Denver Nuggets, 140-137 in overtime at the Oakland Coliseum Arena. Mickey Johnson of the Warriors scored 40 points.

* And the Portland Trail Blazers beat the San Diego Clippers, 117-99 at the Veterans Memorial Coliseum in Portland.

And there were 5 games played in the NHL:

* The New York Rangers and the New Jersey Devils, metropolitan area rivals, played to a tie, 3-3 at the Brendan Byrne Arena at the Meadowlands.

* The Quebec Nordiques beat the Detroit Red Wings, 6-2 at the Colisée de Québec.

* The Vancouver Canucks beat the Washington Capitals, 3-2 at the Capital Centre in the Washington suburb of Landover, Maryland.

* The St. Louis Blues beat the Minnesota North Stars, 5-2 at the St. Louis Arena.

* And the Calgary Flames beat the Los Angeles Knigs, 9-1 at the Saddledome in Calgary.