August 17, 1933: The Private Life of Henry VIII premieres, starring Charles Laughton. Even more than the familiar portrait by Hans Holbein, this film fixed in popular culture the image of Henry as a corpulent king with no manners and enormous appetites for food, women and war. Not until The Tudors came along in the 2000s would we be reminded that Henry was once young, muscular, charismatic and understandable as a babe magnet.
Henry's 1st wife, the Spanish princess Catherine of Aragon, whom he married in 1509 and divorced in 1533, and was the mother of the eventual Queen Mary I, does not appear in the film. Merle Oberon plays his 2nd wife, English noblewoman Anne Boleyn, whom he married in 1533, shortly before she gave birth to the future Queen Elizabeth I, and executed in 1536. Ironically, Catherine died earlier that year. If Henry had just waited a while longer...
Wendy Barrie plays his 3rd wife, English noblewoman Jane Seymour, who died in 1537, not long after giving birth to the future King Edward VI. Laughton's real-life wife, Elsa Lanchester, played Henry's 4th wife, Anne of Cleves, the daughter of a German duke, a marriage that lasted 6 months before it was annulled in 1540.
Binnie Barnes played the 5th wife, English noblewoman Katherine Howard, whom he married shortly after the annulment, and had executed in 1542. Like Anne Boleyn, she had been accused of adultery, something Henry thought men could do, but women couldn't.
The 6th and final wife, English noblewoman Catherine Parr, was played by Everley Gregg. They were still married when Henry died on January 28, 1547, only 55 years old, but terribly overweight, and suffering from gangrene from a wound in his leg. She only lived another year and a half. Anne of Cleves was the last surviving wife of Henry VIII, living until 1557.
If Henry had died right before met Anne Boleyn in 1526, when he was 35 years old, and successful in both war and peace, and was still in good graces with both his 1st wife and the Roman Catholic Church, he would have gone down in history as one of England's greatest monarchs.
Instead, because he so badly wanted a male heir, he broke up his 1st marriage, renounced the Church, formed the Church of England with himself as its head, made up his own rules, set off the Protestant Reformation (which was far from his goal, and even Martin Luther hated his guts), drained England's treasury on wars that did not work out as well as his earlier ones, and mistreated wife after wife, mistress after mistress, and advisor after advisor, until he went down in history as one of England's greatest monsters.
Perhaps it's just as well: Edward VI died in 1553, leaving his sister to become Mary I, and she died in 1558. If Elizabeth I had never been born, the next person in line for the throne would have been Mary, Queen of Scots, not yet the mother of the boy who would become King James VI of Scotland and I of England.
And if she had still been alive when the Spanish Armada came in 1588 -- she would have been 45 years old, although she was in ill health at the time of her execution the year before -- maybe she would have lost the British Isles. Or, maybe, being Catholic like King Philip II of Spain (to whom Mary I had been married), she would have simply let him do what he wanted. He wouldn't have invaded England at all, and England would have let Spain have North America.
Either way, as the great English comedian Michael Flanders once told an American audience: "Just think: If it wasn't for the English, you'd all be Spanish!"
*
August 17, 1933 was a Thursday. Singer Mark Dinning was born. And these baseball games were played:
* The New York Yankees lost to the St. Louis Browns, 7-6 at Sportsman's Park in St. Louis. Jim Levey doubled Oscar Melillo home with the winning run in the bottom of the 10th inning. Rollie Hemsley, later to be acquired by the Yankees, hit a home run off Lefty Gomez. For the Yankees, Babe Ruth and Bill Dickey hit home runs, and Lou Gehrig went 2-for-5 with an RBI.
* The New York Giants beat the Cincinnati Reds, 7-2 at the Polo Grounds. Giant player-manager Bill Terry went 2-for-4 with a walk. Mel Ott went 1-for-5.
* The St. Louis Cardinals beat the Philadelphia Phillies, 9-5 at Baker Bowl in Philadelphia. Joe Medwick went 3-for-5 with 2 home runs and 3 RBIs. Chuck Klein hit a home run for the Phillies.
* The Cleveland Indians beat the Philadelphia Athletics, 15-4 at Cleveland Municipal Stadium. Earl Averill went 4-for-4 with a home run and 3 RBIs. Jimmie Foxx went 2-for-5 with an RBI.
* The Boston Red Sox beat the Detroit Tigers, 6-2 at Navin Field (later Briggs Stadium and Tiger Stadium) in Detroit. Hank Greenberg went 0-for-4.
* The Washington Senators beat the Chicago White Sox, 14-1 at Comiskey Park in Chicago. Joe Kuhel went 3-for-5 with 4 RBIs. Moe Berg, a "good-field, no-hit catcher," and a brilliant man about whom it was said he could speak 12 languages, but couldn't hit in any of them, entered the game after starting catcher Luke Sewell was hurt, and hit a 3-run home run.
* The Boston Braves and the Chicago Cubs agreed to move their game for this Thursday afternoon to earlier in the season, to June 25, part of a Sunday doubleheader. The Cubs won the opener, 12-3. The Braves won the nightcap, 4-3.
* And the Brooklyn Dodgers and the Pittsburgh Pirates were rained out at Ebbets Field. The game was made up as part of a doubleheader on September 10. The Pirates won the 1st game, 2-1. The Dodgers won the 2nd game, 3-2. The Dodgers tied the game in the bottom of the 8th. The Pirates took the lead in the top of the 9th. But, Cliché Alert: Walks can kill you, especially the leadoff variety. The bottom of the 9th began with Ralph Birkofer walking Jake Flowers. The Pirates got 2 outs, but made 2 errors. With the bases loaded, Bill Harris walked Lonny Frey, and allowed a game-winning single to Johnny Frederick. Over the 2 games, Paul Waner went 4-for-8, and Lloyd Waner went 2-for-7 with a walk and an RBI.
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